From the dozens of full-time employees that it takes to keep you entertained, daily, uh week, uh monthly to yours. Happy…Wait!!! We have fluffers‽ Where they at‽
Author: drewsit
Thanksgiving Goose
A little know fact about the first Thanksgiving was that the pilgrims were so puritanical that they served non-binary goose instead of turkey. They thought that turkey cloaca was too tritylating. They also infused their corn salad with cadaverine and putrescine.
Banana Republic
Hans still might not win the election for island mayor because he has to overcome a voting bloc of seagulls. The seagulls are Chinese so they’ve employed heavy gerrymandarin. With such high voter turnout, though, proposition 24 might pass.
Medusa Hair Nostalgia
Let us think about what was in the zeitgeist nine years ago. Remember when “Medusa Hair” threatened the fabric of our democracy itself? I spent gobs of money on small rodents just to keep my new-fangled do happy. Still, in the softening patina of time, I supposed it was a better style than “The Rachel” or “The Kate Gosselin!”
Rain on Your Wedding Day
Here are some other “ironic” coincidences that Alanis missed out on that would have made for a fabulous song sung in rounds.
- Hans Asperger died of Alzheimer’s disease.
- Alois Alzheimer frequently shouted that he had Tourette’s syndrome ya fuckin’ scabby witch.
- George de las Tourette’s lymph nodes were prudish and came down with Hodgkin’s lymphoma (not the good kind).
- Thomas Hodgkin was a colleague of Thomas Addison and caught Addison’s disease from him.
- Thomas Addison had a shaky grasp of reality after coming down with Parkinson’s disease.
- James Parkinson got a shitty deal after coming down with Crohn’s disease.
- Burrill Crohn was Jewish. In a fantastic twist of fate, he did not have Tay-Sachs disease, but instead went full-spectrum with Asperger’s.
- Rinse and repeat.
Justice for Dylan (not Bob)
The previous comic was also found on on Mark Redwine’s phone. It was probably the most damning evidence produced at trial.
Kritical Rice Theory
As is the case in modern US history a breakfast cereal leads the discussion on race relations. However, Georgia and Florida are already concocting laws to prevent anyone named Snap, Crackle or Pop from voting.
Mask Man(date)
Finally, men can understand a bit of what it’s like to be a woman. So get out and get your cock vaccinated and enjoy just a little of Aunt Flo.
Pandemic’s End
One of the greatest ironies of Hans’ mask is that he was fully vaccinated before being stranded on the island. But like many others, the urge to virtue signal was too great to overcome.
March Hare Madness
Whizzit hasn’t been published in years, but I found this one nestled away as a gentle reminder of a kinder time. Imagine thinking 2012 was Sisyphean, Kafkaesque or Quixotic compared to the last nine years‽ So thanks a (metric) ton Cartesian Doug (if that’s your real name) for a fun trip down memory lane when gas cost 8.60 a gallon. Or maybe it’s per liter seeing as Cartesian Doug is Canadian (and wetter than he’s ever been!)