After a short campaign with all the usual boring, normal ideas, it’s time for America to take the plunge and vote for either one of our lovable choices. Those wags who say your vote doesn’t matter (ahem) are correct. When both of the candidates are as great and lovable as those we have, it’s like choosing between a soothing, warm bath and a refreshing aperitif with friends. Will America grab Pussy or Cock?
Taking our time machine back 6 years we find that butthole replacement was a lovely fairy tale for the future. Now in 2016, artificial buttholes are plentiful and easy to obtain. Just yesterday, I had to have my second one replaced due to a little “leakage” but the in-patient procedure was quick, painless and fully covered! Thanks Obama! We’ll miss you and your care.
Look at the camel toe on that dude! Oops, was that not PC? How about any of the following:
- Wookie Wallet
- Bikini Bizkit
- Pants Pita
- Bison Bite
- Slot Pocket
- Sushi Slot
- Piss Fenders
- Khloe Kurtains
Trump is naturally the candidate that appeals most to the Pee Partiers.
According to the Mayo Clinic, here are the top causes of hernias:
- Being anally raped by a Triceritops
- Eating a salad
- Carrying around all that shit from childhood
- Rocking out to Spandau Ballet
- Squeezing out one miserable turd nugget a day
- Aggressive Doctor checking for a hernia
- Shaving with Occam’s Razor
What’s worse that ants in your pants?
- Warts in your shorts
- Rocks in your socks
- Bats in your hats
- Cum in your gum
- Crabs on your scabs
- Cuts on your nuts
- Shits on your tits
- Deer in your ear
- Plectrum in your rectum
- Reddit on your computer
If Joyce were alive today we’d all be pretty surprised since he’d be 134. But I think he would find Lydia appealing all over her lady parts. Whorled without aimed.
Most comic commentators believe caustic criticism should correctly be completed quicker than five years after the comic is drawn.
Sweet Jesus, Baby Louie is almost as dumb as his future sibling. They don’t even know the proper way to sub-tweet insults. If these children are our future, it’s no wonder we’re headed to a new dark age.
North Carolina, Mississippi, Indiana and other states seem awfully interested in regulating or discriminating on basis of what’s going on downstairs. Why can’t any states really get to the real issue? Phyllis’s, uh, issue. I bet they could make a bunch of bread from it.