Just in Valentimes!
There’s nothing funny about sexual harassment or assault but you can make fun of the names!
Donald (up the) Trump, Bill Cli(toris)nton, James Franco (and Beans), Casey (at the bat) Affleck, Paul Haggis (and blood pudding), Ben Vereen (off the straight and narrow), Morgan Spu(tom)rlock, Tavis (won’t make you) Smiley, (S)Heath Evans, Marshall Faulk (me or die), Mario (cock and) Batali, Dustin (your ass) Hoffman, Oliver Stone (hard), Roy (what is your) Price, Harvey Weinstein, Matt (muncher) Lauer, Kevin (sex in) Spacey, Garrison Keillor (when I was done), Louis CK (my cock).
This book was written by Proust. Apparently he was allergic to Petite madeleines which set him off on this tome. Remembrance of Things Passed out My Nose. Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?
I’m never sure what the (anti) PC police allow nowdays, so I’m not sure if I should say Happy Honda Days or Merry Toyotathon? Whatever. Fuck you and yours and let’s just make the most of the last XMas of humankind.
I know it’s tough to drag yourself away from the numerous Schmek’s day activities (Who doesn’t love Ruffled Potato chips!) but if it’s not too much of a Snafu join us to celebrate! Good God, just join us already.
Squiggles used to be very arty. Notice the single drop of red a la Schindler’s List. Don’t get your panties in a wad. We’re not saying Squiggles is anywhere near the level of Spielberg’s finest. Squiggles is obviously much better.
In memory of Hugh Grant’s passing, here is a klassic komik from Playboy, circa 1987. Wait. I was just informed that it wasn’t Hugh Grant, but Hugh Bonneville who passed away. Crap. Does that mean Uptown Abbey was cancelled too? Well, he lived upstairs just like Luka.
This strip is six fucking years old. Back in 2011 a joke such as this was just that, a joke with no possibility of coming true. Now in Trump’s America, we have H.R. 3874 which would make this the law of the land. Wake up, sheeple! Call your representative and tell them in no uncertain terms that debtor cemeteries are only for immigrants and presidents.
After checking with both sides, something tells me Blacula is going to get the Shaft. Like always.