Trump is naturally the candidate that appeals most to the Pee Partiers.
According to the Mayo Clinic, here are the top causes of hernias:
- Being anally raped by a Triceritops
- Eating a salad
- Carrying around all that shit from childhood
- Rocking out to Spandau Ballet
- Squeezing out one miserable turd nugget a day
- Aggressive Doctor checking for a hernia
- Shaving with Occam’s Razor
What’s worse that ants in your pants?
- Warts in your shorts
- Rocks in your socks
- Bats in your hats
- Cum in your gum
- Crabs on your scabs
- Cuts on your nuts
- Shits on your tits
- Deer in your ear
- Plectrum in your rectum
- Reddit on your computer
If Joyce were alive today we’d all be pretty surprised since he’d be 134. But I think he would find Lydia appealing all over her lady parts. Whorled without aimed.
Most comic commentators believe caustic criticism should correctly be completed quicker than five years after the comic is drawn.
Sweet Jesus, Baby Louie is almost as dumb as his future sibling. They don’t even know the proper way to sub-tweet insults. If these children are our future, it’s no wonder we’re headed to a new dark age.
North Carolina, Mississippi, Indiana and other states seem awfully interested in regulating or discriminating on basis of what’s going on downstairs. Why can’t any states really get to the real issue? Phyllis’s, uh, issue. I bet they could make a bunch of bread from it.
Doubting Thomas the Tank Engine didn’t think he could get up that hill. And guess what? He was right. He failed miserably. So what is the moral of this story? Next year, for lent, give up the thing with feathers.
Politics are so boring now. No candidates say or do anything interesting anymore. Remember the good old days of Calvin Coolidge and Estes Kefauver? Man those were some characters who had their long fingers in everything.
Trigonometry puns are not a thing that Einstein’s theory of relativity predicted. So who’s the smart one now? Solve this simple equation for a good trig giggle or triggle. Rapist = sin b / tan b.