Hamas is That Doggie Making Widows

George Basset

With all the conflict in the Middle East, these are the salad days for George Basset (slowly getting eaten away). Of course, like all domesticated anti-Semites, I’m sure George would never wolf down any croutons because they rhyme with something he finds abhorrent. Good thing he’s not into particle physics or couches that fold out into beds.

Hernia Good Jokes Lately?

Dinosaur DoctorDinoSneeze

According to the Mayo Clinic, here are the top causes of hernias:

  1.  Being anally raped by a Triceritops
  2.  Eating a salad
  3.  Carrying around all that shit from childhood
  4.  Rocking out to Spandau Ballet
  5.  Squeezing out one miserable turd nugget a day
  6.  Aggressive Doctor checking for a hernia
  7.  Sneezing
  8.  Shaving with Occam’s Razor