Keeping it Fresh


Taking our time machine back 6 years we find that butthole replacement was a lovely fairy tale for the future.  Now in 2016, artificial buttholes are plentiful and easy to obtain.  Just yesterday, I had to have my second one replaced due to a little “leakage” but the in-patient procedure was quick, painless and fully covered!  Thanks Obama!  We’ll miss you and your care.

Happy Turkey Day!


This may be the last year you can enjoy your turducken stuffed with twinkies.  No, not because of the Hostess™ bankruptcy, but because the world is ending on December 21, 2012.  Some ancient, mystical, savage, unscientific people (republicans?) thought so, so it must be true.  Didn’t anyone see that terrible movie about it?  I think it was called The Hangover 2 .

Blown Opportunity


For the first time ever, I’m confused by Whizzit and have several questions.

  • Is he planning on performing cunnilingus on his girlfriend at a red light or, as is normally customary, have her blow him?
  • How long are traffic lights in Whizzitland?
  • Do ambulances in Whizzitville let whores do ride-a-longs so they never have to stop?
  • Isn’t Trinidad, CO, the trans-gender capital of the U.S.?  What does this imply?