Comics and Criticism
When the history of the 2020’s is written, two names will tower above them all. Hawk Tuah and Mr. Beast. For our always online, always trading society, here’s a quick link to keep track of your millions invested in the Hawk Tuah coin. Congrats to all of you finance bros who jump on every bandwagon to riches.
Choose your own adventure!
In these [trying/great times] of [insane/brilliant] tariffs and [reversing/advancing] cultural mores, both sides can agree that all [persons/women] commentators of the [whatever pronoun they choose/female] [gender/birth sex] [choose/need] to be [informed/hot and stupid]. While there’s still [freedom/liberal nonsense] in [Amerikkka/America!] we need to [come/cum] together to [save/rid the country of] [the less fortunate/vermin].
Calling all libtards and MAGATS! Grab your fave hat of any color you like (unless you’re in Alabama or Texass) and give your favorite gender unspecified friend (in California or Vermont) a hand. Or a mouth. WWJOMD‽ (What would jesus or marduk do?)
There’s nothing funny about sexual harassment or assault but you can make fun of the names!
Donald (up the) Trump, Bill Cli(toris)nton, James Franco (and Beans), Casey (at the bat) Affleck, Paul Haggis (and blood pudding), Ben Vereen (off the straight and narrow), Morgan Spu(tom)rlock, Tavis (won’t make you) Smiley, (S)Heath Evans, Marshall Faulk (me or die), Mario (cock and) Batali, Dustin (your ass) Hoffman, Oliver Stone (hard), Roy (what is your) Price, Harvey Weinstein, Matt (muncher) Lauer, Kevin (sex in) Spacey, Garrison Keillor (when I was done), Louis CK (my cock).
In memory of Hugh Grant’s passing, here is a klassic komik from Playboy, circa 1987. Wait. I was just informed that it wasn’t Hugh Grant, but Hugh Bonneville who passed away. Crap. Does that mean Uptown Abbey was cancelled too? Well, he lived upstairs just like Luka.
After a short campaign with all the usual boring, normal ideas, it’s time for America to take the plunge and vote for either one of our lovable choices. Those wags who say your vote doesn’t matter (ahem) are correct. When both of the candidates are as great and lovable as those we have, it’s like choosing between a soothing, warm bath and a refreshing aperitif with friends. Will America grab Pussy or Cock?
Politics are so boring now. No candidates say or do anything interesting anymore. Remember the good old days of Calvin Coolidge and Estes Kefauver? Man those were some characters who had their long fingers in everything.
It’s that time of year again when we all cum together to celebrate the best hallmark holiday. Hope you and yours have a delightful night of mattress pounding.
I think the ex-linebacker should pound something other than the mattress? Perhaps the dishwasher? I suppose the ultimate “irony” is that ‘Back in Denver months later, Missy discovered her pregnancy.’
