Sweet Jesus, Baby Louie is almost as dumb as his future sibling. They don’t even know the proper way to sub-tweet insults. If these children are our future, it’s no wonder we’re headed to a new dark age.
Lady Bits
North Carolina, Mississippi, Indiana and other states seem awfully interested in regulating or discriminating on basis of what’s going on downstairs. Why can’t any states really get to the real issue? Phyllis’s, uh, issue. I bet they could make a bunch of bread from it.
Good God
Doubting Thomas the Tank Engine didn’t think he could get up that hill. And guess what? He was right. He failed miserably. So what is the moral of this story? Next year, for lent, give up the thing with feathers.
Trump’s Cock
Politics are so boring now. No candidates say or do anything interesting anymore. Remember the good old days of Calvin Coolidge and Estes Kefauver? Man those were some characters who had their long fingers in everything.
Gravitational Waves = Sin(Madness)
Trigonometry puns are not a thing that Einstein’s theory of relativity predicted. So who’s the smart one now? Solve this simple equation for a good trig giggle or triggle. Rapist = sin b / tan b.
Super Ball 50
Wait until you see the half-time show Vivisection has concockted. That’s right, concockted! Fuck you, Coldplay and Beyonce. It’s time for a real extravaganza.
The War on Kwanzaa
Skull Duggary
Strangely, Lydia’s AshleyMadison profile was more truthful and popular. After all, she was one of three actual females on the site.
Sexual Congress
Like the supreme court ruling, Whizzit is a a bit overdue with its trenchant commentary about marriage. If others choose to have a no-sex marriage, it doesn’t mean you have to.
