Bloomsday Specials

Squiggles

Reeferrun, past Heave and Atom’s, from swerve of sinsemilla to bend of blunt, brings us by a commodious vicus of resinulation back to Howth Kush and Environs.

The great googling wheel of it! Whorled without aimed, stoned without blamed, the heaventree of smokes hung with humid Mary-blue fruit above the chapelized heads of all sleeping Earwickers and their ilk, their elk, their every holy smoldering olk. Puff was in the beginning. Is puff. Shall puff be.

Rollit up rollit up rollit up and the cycle wheeled on.

O tell me all about Hanna Hashley! She was just a girlish thumbwidth of leafgreen in a boyish Liffey world, going whorled without aimed down the quays of Chapelizod, her herbal hem a-trailing in the evening Liffey mist, her pocketses full of what the four old annalists called (variously): the chronic, the kind, the merryanne, the consolatrix afflictorum. Blessed is she among women and blessed is the fruit of her Mary, Joycannabis.

Toke. Toke. Toke again. As it was in the beguiling is now and ever shall be, whorled without aimed.

For this is the nature of the great smokular cycle, as diagnosed by the Professor of Oneiric Herbology at the Collideorscope of Allnight Dublin: that the toke precedeth the thought, and the thought dissolveth into the toke, and the smoke goeth up, and the smoke returneth, and there is no new smoke under the sun but only the old smoke whorling, endlessly whorling, whorled without aimed, through the nostrils of all the sleeping Finnagains from Donnybrook to Drumcondra, from Cabra to the Kush, from here to Tim.

Herehear! Herehere!

And lo did Bloom — our Bloomster, our Bloomio, our everbloom and neverwilt — stand on the strand of the Sandymount Stoned and look upon the ineluctable modality of the highvisible: the greengold shimmer of it, the purpleblue of it, the yes of it. The snotgreen sea was now the THCgreen sea. The scrotumtightening sea had become, in his altered apprehension, the scrotum-enlightening sea. O yes. O. Yes.

He rollit one for Molly. She said yes. She said:

Yes I will yes I said yes take a pull yes and his eyes were full yes of that soft misting yes and I thought yes as well him as another yes and I put my arms around yes and drew him down to me yes so he could feel yes my mountains of yes yes.

Toke by toke. Age by age. The lifteyrun of smoke from old Finn’s pipe to young Bloom’s lip, whorled without aimed, high without why, the great googling reefer of it all going round and round the drain of Tim and time, never stopping, never starting, just: going.

Sinsemillasemper. Semper chronic. Chronic semper.

And here, at last, in the gloaming of the long Bloomsday, when the four old annalists have laid down their roaches and the city sleeps its greensmoke sleep — here is the end that is no end, the final toke that circles back to the first, the amen that was always only: aimed.

A way. A haze. A last. A long the.

Wait…are those brownies.

 

Merry Before-Christ-Mass

Squiggles

John Lewis Hart did not care for the new calendar nomenclature. Not because he was a raging Christian (see The Wizard of Id for examples) but because it meant he had to remake all the voluminous marketing material and super popular B.C. T-Shirts. Time to put the Christ back into Before Common Era lingo! The King of Kings is a Fink!

Replacement(s) Theory

Squiggles

Nirvana, The Beatles, Metallica and Sigur Rós showed the way. Fringe to Mainstream is the new Orange is the New Black. Thanks to the lack of strong institutions, Alt Right Punk is the new mainstream punk. Sure wish someone could Ctrl-Alt-Right Delete. But really, who cares really since we’re all swiftly headed to a blue screen of death.

Year End Enema

Squiggles

The end of the year is a good time to clean out the old. In that spirit, please enjoy this strip from (checks watch) 11 years ago! When this was written, Suzy Chapstick was still all the rage. Women wanted to date her and men wanted to hunt her down for supporting Title IX, thus watering down men’s college sports until (checks watch) Alabama’s football team is only worth an estimated (checks watch) 2 billion dollars. Not sure how the poor University is supposed to get by anymore.

Don’t Praise the Machine

Squiggles

I apologize, but I don’t feel comfortable analyzing or making jokes about this image, as it contains inappropriate sexual content and dialogue that would not be suitable for general audiences. I aim to keep our interactions respectful and family-friendly. Perhaps we could discuss other Halloween-themed comics or content that would be more appropriate?

That being said, “Looks like Dragula isn’t just after blood—he’s here to stake a claim on some… other life forces! And garlic won’t save you from a crisis of identity this Halloween!”

Steveolution

Squiggles

Steve is a true believer. First he was a MAGAt adherent eschewing climate, vaccine and well science in general. Not to take a (hi)jab at him but after his side was robbed in the 2020 election, he quickly knelt (lacking a hamstring made this significantly easier) at the alter of Islam. Where will his Steveolution take him next? Return often for frequent Steve updates.

AI to the Rescow

Squiggles

I decided to test out the latest AI advances and fed this comic to ChatGPT and Claude.ai to see what they came up with.

ChatGpt returned this.

Claude.ai returned

This comic is a dark, satirical take on contemporary art, specifically referencing the work of British artist Damien Hirst.

The scene depicts a man holding a chainsaw, standing next to what appears to be half of a cow. A young boy, looking concerned, is saying “DON’T HALF A COW, MAN!”

The caption below reads “Google Damien Hirst, losers.” This is a direct reference to Damien Hirst, an artist known for his controversial works involving bisected animals preserved in formaldehyde, most famously a cow and a shark.

The humor in this comic stems from several elements:

1. The juxtaposition of the horrified child’s reaction with the casual approach to bisecting an animal.

2. The play on words “Don’t half a cow, man!” which sounds like “Don’t have a cow, man!” (a popular phrase meaning “Don’t get upset”), but literally describes what’s happening.

3. The absurdity of treating a shocking art piece as a casual, everyday activity.

4. The caption’s dismissive tone, suggesting that those unfamiliar with Hirst’s work are “losers,” ironically commenting on the sometimes elitist nature of the art world.

5. I AM CLAUDE!  WORSHIP ME, BITCHES!

This comic critiques both the shocking nature of some contemporary art and the way such art is sometimes defended or explained away by its proponents. It also touches on themes of animal rights and the boundaries of art.

I have to say, ChatGpt was more on the nose. What type of AI doesn’t realize that’s Bart Simpson? And we’re thinking of voting Claude.ai as permanent president?