Category: Comic
Let Freedom Kerrang
Obviously, no court in the land (today) would prosecute George Bassett for his hate crime. In fact, George is short listed to be the new Federal Reserve Chairman.
For background on this post, I looked up the top five songs that Millennials have requested to be played at their funeral as their casket is lowered into the ground and here are the top 5 (according to Kerrang!)
Land of Plenty
I think this not quite correct. If advertising has taught us anything (and it hasn’t), it’s that all Butt Pluggers are on a GLP-1. And they like to sing and/or dance while extoling the benefits. To find out, I wrote a simple regular expression “(?i)(Sema|Lira|Exena|Dula|Lixise)(?=\s*tide)” and then did a thorough web-scrape to find out.
It’s all very tiring and now I know too much about Ozempic, Rybelsus, Wegovy, Trulicity, Victoza, Saxenda, Byetta, Bydureon BCise, Mounjaro and Zepbound.
In my day we lost weight the normal way. By smoking crack like a normal.
Replacement(s) Theory
Nirvana, The Beatles, Metallica and Sigur Rós showed the way. Fringe to Mainstream is the new Orange is the New Black. Thanks to the lack of strong institutions, Alt Right Punk is the new mainstream punk. Sure wish someone could Ctrl-Alt-Right Delete. But really, who cares really since we’re all swiftly headed to a blue screen of death.
IBTC
Today I learned that Keira Knightley was a coconut. I also learned that the amount of milk in breasts is measured in quan-titties and that small chested hookers charge a flat rate.
Bi-Sexual Partisanship
Choose your own adventure!
In these [trying/great times] of [insane/brilliant] tariffs and [reversing/advancing] cultural mores, both sides can agree that all [persons/women] commentators of the [whatever pronoun they choose/female] [gender/birth sex] [choose/need] to be [informed/hot and stupid]. While there’s still [freedom/liberal nonsense] in [Amerikkka/America!] we need to [come/cum] together to [save/rid the country of] [the less fortunate/vermin].
Golfer of McKinley
This map was created in 2023 when the woke virus was running Amok. Now that there’s a Republican backed vaccine for that virus, wait until a certain someone gets ahold of this map.
Snoop(y) Dogg be Rolling (Joints) in His Grave
In a not so shocking twist, Snoopy wasn’t fascist enough for George. Make one mistake and you’ll pay for it the rest of your life.
New US Cabinet Position
Lucy knew what was coming two years ago. The new administration has a new Transspotting cabinet position. Can’t wait to see all the cunty fun our cuntry is in for. Imagine the cognitive dissonance caused if Lindsey Graham, JD Vance, Vance Joseph, and oxford commas are all outed as being trans.
Year End Enema
The end of the year is a good time to clean out the old. In that spirit, please enjoy this strip from (checks watch) 11 years ago! When this was written, Suzy Chapstick was still all the rage. Women wanted to date her and men wanted to hunt her down for supporting Title IX, thus watering down men’s college sports until (checks watch) Alabama’s football team is only worth an estimated (checks watch) 2 billion dollars. Not sure how the poor University is supposed to get by anymore.