Get some head start on your New Year’s Resolutions and stuff the Christmas goose. Can’t wait to see what’s served on the potatoes. Hint: pud in the spuds.
Fucking Christmas Already
Category: Filthy
Inflame the Yule Log
#MeTwo
There’s nothing funny about sexual harassment or assault but you can make fun of the names!
Donald (up the) Trump, Bill Cli(toris)nton, James Franco (and Beans), Casey (at the bat) Affleck, Paul Haggis (and blood pudding), Ben Vereen (off the straight and narrow), Morgan Spu(tom)rlock, Tavis (won’t make you) Smiley, (S)Heath Evans, Marshall Faulk (me or die), Mario (cock and) Batali, Dustin (your ass) Hoffman, Oliver Stone (hard), Roy (what is your) Price, Harvey Weinstein, Matt (muncher) Lauer, Kevin (sex in) Spacey, Garrison Keillor (when I was done), Louis CK (my cock).
RIP Hugh Grant
In memory of Hugh Grant’s passing, here is a klassic komik from Playboy, circa 1987. Wait. I was just informed that it wasn’t Hugh Grant, but Hugh Bonneville who passed away. Crap. Does that mean Uptown Abbey was cancelled too? Well, he lived upstairs just like Luka.
Polling Station
After a short campaign with all the usual boring, normal ideas, it’s time for America to take the plunge and vote for either one of our lovable choices. Those wags who say your vote doesn’t matter (ahem) are correct. When both of the candidates are as great and lovable as those we have, it’s like choosing between a soothing, warm bath and a refreshing aperitif with friends. Will America grab Pussy or Cock?
Trump’s Cock
Politics are so boring now. No candidates say or do anything interesting anymore. Remember the good old days of Calvin Coolidge and Estes Kefauver? Man those were some characters who had their long fingers in everything.
Tom’s Hankering for Some Pankering?
When will the fat cats in Washington do the peoples’ work? It’s time for a constitutional amendment outlawing Homophonia!
Happy Valentimes!
It’s that time of year again when we all cum together to celebrate the best hallmark holiday. Hope you and yours have a delightful night of mattress pounding.
Mattress Pounding. Just Pounding It!
I think the ex-linebacker should pound something other than the mattress? Perhaps the dishwasher? I suppose the ultimate “irony” is that ‘Back in Denver months later, Missy discovered her pregnancy.’
