Surprisingly, Dexter’s sales presentation went over like gangbusters for the NBA. Now that playoff season is in full swing, join NWA nation (or is it country?) to cheer on your favorite Nuggets. Sadly for Dexter, his next presentation offended China so he was swiftly fired yet again.
Turing Test
Surprising with Lucy’s quantumsexuality that they wouldn’t know about quantum computing. If they’d just take a gander at Justin Trudeau’s greatest speeches over a glass of Gay Goose and Soda they’d know, like sexuality, computing can be everything at once. At least if you’re a cat (or goose) in a box.
Normal Goer
Mom was also a vegan. So she was biodegradable and when she got diarrhea we’d use her as a salad shooter.
She also made some mean bread. You could say she was a gluten for punishment, which is a pretty crumby thing to say.
Trenchant or Trenchfoot
What at first glance is yet another Baby Louie poop strip becomes much more insightful when you realize that the author “Frink” is possibly the greatest political cartoonist since Nast(y), Hoest, or Trudeau.
You see Louie and his new friend are the current front runners for the presidency. Just like aforementioned candidates, they are incontinent and wear big baggy diapers. Like Louie we’d all like to crawl away from the current climate into the next strip. Sadly, just like America, the next strip over happens to be a very special panel of Cock ‘N’ Balls!
Sean Payton is Cocky
For all our fans who come for the trenchant cock related humor, we regret to inform you that we are going to discuss Russell Wilson. What do you call Russell Wilson getting a golden shower? A Ciara Mist. Hey, I take it back, at we used some cock-adjacent humor.
A”I” Christmas
Like every other imaginable job, we decided to let ChatGPT write a humorous post to accompany today’s comic. Look out Woodsy Allen.
A Cruelty-Free Christmas: Ho-Ho-Hoping for a Kinder Celebration!
Hello, festive friends and Yuletide yuppies! It’s that time of year again, when our hearts are as full as our shopping carts, and our spirits are as high as our calorie intake. But this year, I’ve decided to add a little twist to my Christmas cheer – I’m going cruelty-free! That’s right, a Christmas that’s as kind to animals as it is to my waistline (well, sort of).
Step 1: The Tree – Going Faux for Fauna!
First things first, let’s talk Christmas trees. While I love the smell of a fresh pine, this year I’ve decided to go faux. Why? Well, aside from the fact that my cat won’t stop climbing a real tree, I’ve heard that plastic trees are the new green – environmentally and color-wise. Plus, it’s a great workout trying to assemble it. Who knew that ‘branch fluffing’ could be an Olympic sport?
Step 2: Gifts – Say No to Leather, Yes to Laughter
Moving on to gifts! This year, I’m ditching the leather and going for laughter. Instead of wallets and belts, I’m giving out joke books and funny movie collections. It’s a great way to ensure that my gifts won’t end up collecting dust or, worse, re-gifted. (I’m looking at you, Aunt Martha!)
Step 3: Food – A Feast Without the Beast
Now, the main event: Christmas dinner. This year, my turkey is named Tofurky, and he’s made of soy. I know, I know, it sounds about as appealing as socks for Christmas, but trust me, with the right amount of seasoning, anything can taste good. Plus, I’ve got a secret weapon – gravy! It’s the culinary equivalent of a Christmas miracle.
Step 4: Decor – Shimmer Without the Shudder
For decorations, I’m keeping it cruelty-free and classy. No real fur on my faux fur tree, thank you very much. Instead, I’m opting for handmade ornaments and LED lights that twinkle like my vegan cousin’s eyes when she talks about composting.
Step 5: Attire – Ugly Sweaters Sans Sheep
Finally, the Christmas attire. This year, I’ve found the most marvelous acrylic ugly Christmas sweater. It’s so bright and tacky, I’m pretty sure it can be seen from space. And the best part? No sheep were inconvenienced in the making of this fashion masterpiece.
So there you have it, folks! A cruelty-free Christmas is not only possible, but it’s also hilariously fun. Who knew saving the planet could be such a jolly affair? Here’s to a holiday season filled with kindness, laughter, and maybe just a little bit of Tofurky. Merry Cruelty-Free Christmas to all, and to all a good bite! 🎄🐑🥕
Hamas is That Doggie Making Widows
With all the conflict in the Middle East, these are the salad days for George Basset (slowly getting eaten away). Of course, like all domesticated anti-Semites, I’m sure George would never wolf down any croutons because they rhyme with something he finds abhorrent. Good thing he’s not into particle physics or couches that fold out into beds.
Ask for the Reubens Sandwich
RIP Pee Wee. Did you know that Pee Wee’s favorite baseball teams were the Yankees and Expos? He lived in a simpler time when getting off in a theater wasn’t captured on skynet. He was America’s greatest actor since John Wilkes Booth. And they both shot someone in the back of the head in a theater.
Fuck Bud Light
Kid Rock now has to shoot up a flock of geese? These culture wars are so exhausting, he’ll forget in a few weeks and you’ll probably see him blowing Lucy behind his trailer park, which is located in the back forty of his gigantic mansion.
Dry Wednesdays
It’s class reunion time. So we present you with the 10th class reunion of this Squiggles strip.
In the Camel Sutra Bactrian camels always hump twice, while the sad Dromedary camels only get to hump once. Sadly Humphrey the camel doesn’t get to hump at all.