This holiday season if you’re out getting stocking stuffers, make sure to pick up that special something that really could use some stuffing. Mike Lindell’s MyRectum. 50% off with proof you attended the Jan 6 rally.
MCCGA (CC is for Cunty Christmas)
Anuopening
Chess has never been sexier. Except maybe when Bobby Fischer pulled it out. Bird’s opening that is. Imagine when future tournaments require cavity searches. I’d really like to watch “The Queen’s Gambit” then.
Happy Heil O Ween
With all the relevant previous examples, Prince Harry, Harry Hamlin, Harry Styles, J.K. Rowling. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess Nazi Kitty’s name is Harry.
Stay safe and make sure to check for Zyklon B in your candy this year. There’s rumors that several wingers are hiding it in Kit Kats this year.
Marine Usury
You don’t often see sharks fighting octopi because they are well armed. At least they do have a few extra arms and/or legs to give up.
RIP Deb. Hope you’re watching “Loan Shark Tale” up there.
Don’t Bite the Hand That Pays You
Strangely, George’s owner was not mad about George’s blatant racism. She was upset about George questioning International Monetary Policy. As the IMF and the US Federal Reserve have shown us, they are so good at what they do, they are beyond questioning. [Our Soros sponsored Patreon donation should be clearing soon.]
The Great Seduction Part Deux
Our eternal friend is back. As self reflective as a vampire can be. We all breathlessly await part III wherein Lorcan and Rian fight to the death over who gets to deposit fiat currency at the sperm bank.
Extreme Loquacity
Seems like Chantix™ is coming for all the greats. It took four years to get Ray Liotta. So Stephen King still has time to pump out about 75 additional books before it gets him. Plus, he’ll have more time now that he’s off the cock-pipe.
Tough Times for Tiny Titties
Baby Louie’s Mom is a monster for not breast feeding (even though she’s a man) with the tragic shortage of baby formula going around. Luckily for Louie, palm oil comes from palms and coconut oil comes from coconuts. He’s probably not interested in being slathered in baby oil, or drinking baby formula anyway.
Get Woke (in time to watch the next episode)
The original MTS is shown at 5:30 am on MeTV, so you must be woke to see it. In the reboot, Steve Douglas is played by Willem Dafoe, an aging star deigning to do TV for a huge paycheck. In the reboot, Steve is a serial killer who disappears:
- His first wife
- His live in father-in-law, Bub, who is the only mother figure his trio of trixic sons have ever known
- His oldest son, Mike and first daughter-in-law Sally
- The parents of his adopted replacement for Mike
- Second (then first) son Robbie
- Tramp the dog. Controversially eaten in a classic “mix-up” episode when family thinks they’re trying a new delicacy cooked by the horrible Korean stereotype character that moves in next door.
So basically the reboot is exactly like the original.
Making Ends Meet
Deep Doo Doo (if that is your real name) may not realize that President Joe (Manchin) is far up the butt of Big TP. Most Republiqanons opposed the infrastructure bill because if they take the lead out of the water, no one would ever vote for them again.