Summer Blockbuster (Get off of my lawn, dinosaur)

Dinosaur Doctor

Once upon a time, there were summer movies that weren’t about super heroes.  Here’s a list the lighthearted movies we enjoyed in our youth before the onslaught of Robert Downey Jr.

  • Movies about sharks
  • Dinosaurs
  • Phone challenged aliens
  • Runs made by cannonballs
  • Girls who drove tanks
  • Returns to Lagoons (that happened to be blue)
  • Pauly Shore
  • Kazaam
  • Dwarf Planet Nash
  • Lolita
  • Tails that Tom Cruise wanted to cock

#MeTwo

Cock ‘N’ Balls

There’s nothing funny about sexual harassment or assault but you can make fun of the names!

Donald (up the) Trump, Bill Cli(toris)nton, James Franco (and Beans), Casey (at the bat) Affleck, Paul Haggis (and blood pudding), Ben Vereen (off the straight and narrow), Morgan Spu(tom)rlock, Tavis (won’t make you) Smiley, (S)Heath Evans, Marshall Faulk (me or die), Mario (cock and) Batali, Dustin (your ass) Hoffman, Oliver Stone (hard), Roy (what is your) Price, Harvey Weinstein, Matt (muncher) Lauer, Kevin (sex in) Spacey, Garrison Keillor (when I was done), Louis CK (my cock).

Polling Station

Cock ‘N’ Balls
cocknballsbonevoyage

After a short campaign with all the usual boring, normal ideas, it’s time for America to take the plunge and vote for either one of our lovable choices.  Those wags who say your vote doesn’t matter (ahem) are correct.  When both of the candidates are as great and lovable as those we have, it’s like choosing between a soothing, warm bath and a refreshing aperitif with friends.  Will America grab Pussy or Cock?