Vampires Suck

Dinosaur Doctor

You know the vampire fad is about to end when even Dinosaur Doctor jumps on the bandwagon.  For all of you rabid fans of Twilight and True Blood, do you remember the previous trends that you thought would never end?

  • Cigar Bars
  • New Kids on the Block
  • Christianity
  • MySpace
  • Swing Music
  • Dane Cook
  • Tails on haircuts
  • Acid Washed Jeans
  • Democracy

Blown Opportunity

Whizzit

For the first time ever, I’m confused by Whizzit and have several questions.

  • Is he planning on performing cunnilingus on his girlfriend at a red light or, as is normally customary, have her blow him?
  • How long are traffic lights in Whizzitland?
  • Do ambulances in Whizzitville let whores do ride-a-longs so they never have to stop?
  • Isn’t Trinidad, CO, the trans-gender capital of the U.S.?  What does this imply?

It’s Geek to Me

Vivisection

Since Vivisection appears to be a familiar with computer programming and comic strip history, I offer the following programming snippet.


private bool IsFunny
{
   get
   {
      bool funny = Misspell(global::NameSpace.Properties.Resources.MedSkoolName);
      if (!funny)
      {
         funny = BunnySuit.Add(mainCharacter);
         if (!funny)
            funny = CurseUnderBreath(professor);
      }
      
      return false;
   }
}

I realize this will raise a compiler warning, but think the Property is accurate.

Golden Age of Advertising

Squiggles

Shakespeare could write a jingle for Eggos that would really make you think.  I think he was best known for his slogan for “Murphy’s Bloodletting.”  How many monkeys, and how many years, do you think would be needed to come up with that?  Thank god, just like Barry Manilow, he graduated to write his own Copacabana…The Two Gentlemen of Verona.

Reese’s Feces

Dinosaur Doctor

Rest in Pieces


Don’t you love when Crankshaft takes part in a “very special” Funky?  Or when the “Mad About You” crew showed up on “Friends?”  Remember when “Crossing Jordan” crossed over to “Las Vegas?”  I’m sure the ratings just skyrocketed then!

This crossover seems more like a Reese’s Peanut butter cup if they decided to mix Brussels Sprouts and Monkey Poop instead of Peanut Butter and Chocolate.

Happy In Depends Day

Rest in Pieces


My country reminds me of The Rolling Stones.  They started out very derivative but showing much promise (12X5, Aftermath).  After some time and internal strife they came together for a period where they could do no wrong (Beggars Banquet to Exile on Main Street).  Then the they got full of themselves and went way overboard and lost their way (Black and Blue or Dirty Work anyone?  anyone?).  Now they just continue on doing the same old stupid stuff without doing anything that takes real effort or has much worth (touring and multiple “live” albums).  Eventually, they’ll just fade away, full of rust.  By the way, I’m from Canada.

Team Coco

Squiggles

What’s funny about the man portrayed in this comic is that shortly after this, he appeared on Jay Leno with his collection of “amusingly shaped shits.”  Jay got huge laughs when he pretended to take a bite of the log that looked like Lindsay Lohan.  It probably tasted better than the real Lindsay.

Vivisection

Vivisection

Today we welcome a new strip named Vivisection.  It’s about a college biology professor who apparently teaches at the pre-veterinary school for short bus students.  Otherwise known as Western University of Health Sience.  Yes, they misspelled Science!